Resilience isn’t about bouncing back, it’s learning how to stay standing

Letting go of the “bounce-back” myth

Resilience is commonly defined as the ability to bounce back from adversity. That definition may work for materials or systems, but it doesn’t reflect how humans experience challenges and loss. 

Life changes us, work changes us, and sometimes those changes are sudden and profound. Expecting people to return to their previous shape is unrealistic and ignores the emotional and psychological reality of being human. 

As Yulia reflects, resilience isn’t about erasing what’s happened—it’s about integrating it. “Resilience is coming back changed and learning how to live and work with that change rather than fighting it,” she said. 

When we frame resilience as bouncing back, we place pressure on people to show strength rather than process the experience. A much healthier approach is recognizing that growth, recovery, and adaptation take time—and that they also look different for everyone.

Resilience is about energy not endurance

Learning that resilience has less to do with how long you can endure discomfort and more to do with how well you manage your energy is very important. For Mark, resilience has always been closely linked to energy. “I think of it as a battery. Knowing what drains you and what recharges you helps you to be a good colleague, a good partner, a good person,” he said.

Earlier in Mark’s career at a previous company, working in a difficult environment gradually depleted that battery. The impact was not immediate, but over time it affected his confidence, health, and well-being. Stepping away and seeking support was not a failure—it was a necessity. More importantly, it created awareness and when similar situations appeared a few years later, the signs were recognized much earlier and handled differently. 

Resilience is often misunderstood as self-sufficiency. Mark describes this as “lone wolf syndrome”—the belief that showing struggle means showing weakness. Resilience grows when we stop ignoring the signals our bodies and emotions give us. Fatigue, frustration, anxiety, and disengagement are not weaknesses but information that allows us to respond before we reach a breaking point. It’s very important to acknowledge when you need support and allow yourself to take a step back and breathe. 

Asking for help

Perhaps one of the hardest and most important messages Yulia and Mark want to share is this:

For Yulia, this became clear through personal loss. In moments of deep grief, strength looked nothing like independence. It looked like honesty. “Asking for help was incredibly difficult,” she revealed. “But once I was clear about what helped and what didn’t, it lifted a huge weight—for me and for the people around me.”

People often want to support one another, especially during difficult times, but uncertainty gets in the way. Clear communication removes that uncertainty, and support becomes meaningful rather than awkward or overwhelming.  

Asking for help requires self-awareness and courage. It also creates connection. We recover and adapt more effectively when we allow others to be part of the process.

The power of listening

Just as important as asking for help is knowing how to offer it. One of the most underrated skills is listening—not to respond, fix, or advise, but to be present. 

Yulia and Mark have both experienced moments where what mattered most was not what someone said, but the fact they stayed. That kind of presence communicates safety and respect. It allows emotions to exist without being minimized or rushed away. 

“I still remember when I was going through one of the most difficult times in my life—the loss of my son—a close friend offered a listening ear, and I remember her warm presence,” Yulia recalled. “I don’t remember much else from the conversation, but I just remember her being there and her warmth.”  

In the workplace, listening often takes a backseat. We’re trained to be efficient and move quickly to find solutions. But resilience grows in environments where people feel heard, where someone notices when they are struggling and takes the time to check in. Sometimes it takes a simple “how are you?” and the willingness to listen to the answer.

This is where initiatives like Philip Morris International’s Be Well Champions matter. They’re trained listeners offering confidential and judgement-free spaces. Sometimes a ten-minute conversation is enough to shift perspective.

Small habits built over time

Resilience is rarely built on dramatic moments. More often, it’s shaped by small, everyday habits that support physical and emotional well-being. 

These habits interrupt autopilot. They create much needed moments of reflection and reset. Over time, they make it easier to recognize when something is off and to respond with intention rather than reaction. As Mark said:

This is when resilience becomes sustainable.

Resilience is a shared responsibility

While resilience is deeply personal, it’s never purely individual. The environment we create at work and in our everyday life plays a significant role in whether resilience is supported or undermined. 

When leaders normalize conversations about energy, limits, and well-being, resilience stops being a private struggle. It becomes part of the culture. Teams function better when people are not expected to hide difficulty or power through at all costs. 

Resilience doesn’t make us unbreakable. It’s not about pretending everything is fine. It’s about creating conditions where people can pause, recover, adapt, and continue. 

Clear expectations, psychological safety, and respect for boundaries all matter. “No one will respect boundaries you don’t communicate,” said Yulia. “But once you do, resilience becomes easier—for you and for others.”